[Leonce J. Collins]
Twenty minutes into the flight one of the left engines started burning. Boudreaux announced: This is your Captain Boudreaux, I hope you noticed that one of the engines on the left is not working good at all. Don't worry about it I just cut off the gas to that one. We have 3 more engines to make it to Jamaica so relax you are in good hands with Captain Boudreaux.
Thirty minutes later one of the engines on the right side started smoking and burning. Boudreaux announced: This is your Captain Boudreaux again, I hope you're enjoying your airplane ride to Jamaica. If you noticed one of the engines on the right is not working good either. Boy, I tell you something, you cannot find a good mechanic today. I also cut off the gas to that one but don't worry about it we still have enough engines to make it to Jamaica. Now we have 2 engines left, so relax you are in good hands with Captain Boudreaux.
Fifteen minutes later the second engine on the left side started smoking and burning. Boudreaux announced: This is your Captain Boudreaux, I hope you all enjoyed your breakfast. I hope you noticed that the second engine on the left is not working good either. Feel safe I just cut off the gas to that engine. Don't worry about it, we have one more engine left to make it to Jamaica, so relax you are in good hands with Captain Boudreaux.
Ten minutes out of Jamaica the last engine started smoking and burning. Boudreaux announced. This is your Captain Boudreaux an the drinks are on the house. Boy, if we just had one more engine. I hope you noticed that the last engine is not working good but don't worry about it, this plane can glide and we will make a safe emergency landing. I have lots of experience making emergency landings. This plane can make a soft landing in the water. I will land the plane about 40 yards from the beach. I want everyone that can swim to sit on the left side of the plane and everyone that can't swim to sit on the right of the plane. When I land the plane in the water about 40 yards from the beach the waiter and the barmaid will open the emergency doors on the left. When the door opens all the ones sitting on the left that can swim must jump and swim to the beach. All the ones that can't swim I like to thank you for flying Delta.
This is the story of Boudreaux and Marie who moved north to a new job. Below is a list of short notes writter on a postcard to his friend Thibodeaux:
Dec. 16: Thibodeaux, it started to snow alot up here. This is the first snow Marieand I have seen in years. Marie and I took our hot buttered rum and sat by the picture window ,watching the snow flakes come down on the trees and covering the ground. Boy its pretty...
Dec.17: Thibodeaux, we woke up with snow on the ground. I shoveled snow from the driveway for the first time and I LIKE IT very much. The snowplow machine came by and covered my driveway. The driver smiled and waved. I waved back and shoveled the snow again.
Dec.18: Thibodeaux, it snowed 5 more inches last night and the temp dropped down to 9 degrees. Thibodeaux this is goose and duck weather. I goosed Marie and ducked under the covers again. Man it is cold in this place. A few limbs on the trees broke off and fell in the yard. The snowplow came by and did his trick again. shoveled the brownish-gray snow again..
Dec.19: Thibodeaux, the temperature went up to just enough to melt the snow but dropped 8 degrees and made some ice. I went to buy some snow tires for the car and fell on my butt. Had to pay the Doctor $145. More snow expected.
Dec. 20: Thibodeaux, it's COLD!!!!!!! Freezing my butt off!!!!!!!!!. Sold car and bought 4x4 to get to work. Slid into guardrail and did $2200 worth of damage. Had another 8 inches of that damn snow last night. The stupid snowplow came by twice. Now the driveway is nothin but ice.. I am getting fed up with this weather.
Dec.21: Thibodeaux, more snow and it is 7 degrees below ZERO. All the trees lost their limbs last night and three trees were broken in half.. The electricity went off last night . Tried to keep from freezing my butt by hugging Marie's but her butt was as cold as mine. I tried to keep warm by using candles. Had to get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom with no heat. It reminded me of the good old days. My butt got stuck to the toilet seat. I got scared and got up fast. I knocked the damn candle off the stand and caught the curtains on fire. I put out the fire but had second degree burn on my hand. While coming back from the Doctor my 4x4 slid on ice and my 4X4 was totaled. Damm I hate this weather.
>Dec. 22: Thibodeaux, damn snow keeps coming down. Had to put on all the clothes that I own just to get to the damn mailbox. If I ever catch that SOB that drives that snowplow I will kick his ass.. Power still off, toilet froze, and part of the roof has caved in. More snow predicted.
Dec. 23: Thibodeaux, six more inches of damm snow came down with sleet. Who knows what other kind of stuff will fall today. I went outside to clear the driveway and the damn snowplow driver came by and dumped more snow on my driveway. I chassed and stopped him long enough to whip his ass. I was going to hit him with my shovel , but he got away. Marie left me. Car want start. I am going snow blind and my toes are frozen. .More snow predicted and the wind chill is 44 degrees below zero. Damm it is cold. Dec. 24: Thibodeaux, I AM MOVING BACK TO LAFAYETTE, LOUISIANA: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am writing this letter slow because I know that you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your Dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from the house, so he moved. I won't be able to send you the address cause the family that lived here took the numbers for their next house so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place has a washing machine. The first day I put 4 shirts in it, pulled the chain and have not seen them since. It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time. The coat you wanted me to send you, well your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with the heavy buttons, so we cut them off and placed them in the coat pocket.
About your father, he has a lovely new job. He has over 500 men under him, he is cutting the grass at the cemetery. About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I don't know if it is a boy or girl. So I don't know if you are a uncle or an aunt.
All three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup truck. One was the driver and the other two were in the back. The driver got out, he rolled down the window and he swim to the bank. Your other two friends drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.
Your uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to get him out but he fought them off so he drowned. We cremated his body and it burned for three days.
Not much more news than this, nothing much happened. Write more often or more times than you do.
LOVE MOM
P.S. I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.
Boudreaux would run to the end of the wharf to his pirogue (canoe for you non-cajuns) untie his pirogue and start paddling down the Bayou. Every time that Boudreaux did that, Marie and the 14 kids would always run to the end of wharf and call for Boudreaux, call for Boudreaux, and you know Boudreaux would always come back.
Well let me tell you about one BIG fight, one time Marie & Boudreaux got into the worst damn fight cajuns get into. Marie was MAD & Boudreaux had the red ass and boy was he pissed. The fight was so bad that Boudreaux broke down the screen door as he ran through the screen door to the end of the wharf untied the rope on his pirogue (canoe for you non-cajuns) and starting paddling faster & faster down the bayou.
Sure enough Marie & the 14 kids ran to the end of wharf and called for Boudreaux called for Boudreaux. Marie would say" Boudreaux come back, Boudreaux would says no but hell no, I'm never coming back this time. Marie and the kids would call "Boudreaux please come back". Again Boudreaux would say " Marie I am gone. Marie calls back again "Boudreaux, what do you want me to do with the camp house". Sell the camp he said as Boudreaux looked back. Boudreaux what do you want me to do with the kids. Keep the kids, Boudreaux said, I told you I had enough Marie. Marie raises up her dress and calls out one more last time for Boudreaux, Boudreaux looked back. Marie says, as she is still holding up her dress " what do you want me to do with this". Boudreaux looked at that thing and looked at Marie again and puts the pirogue in reverse by paddling backwards as fast as he can and hollows back at Marie " Marie one of these days I will leave your ass yea"
Dear IRS:
I have enclosed 5 -one hundred dollar bills because I have been unable to sleep since 1991. Please deposit the $500.00 in your account and give me credit on my account.
P.S> If I still can't sleep I'll send you the rest.
Pass a good time,
Boudreaux
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